the mood tonight is quiet

Its quiet and peaceful. I’ve enjoyed looking at what quizas is up to, and I felt like sharing with you our little space which we are leaving soon. I’m feeling reflective, like I feel when things are coming to an end, Ramadan, my 6 monthly rotation in this clinical department, the big move, saying goodbye to people, things and places. I attended a family conference today where the family decided to bring the patient home as they did not want to further investigations for a patient with suspected spread of an unknown cancer to the brain. My house officer commented that she was surprised that of all the family members who were present, it was the patient’s husband who wanted further investigations and work up when all the children just wanted to bring 84 year old mother home. I didn’t feel it was as what is it that we wouldn’t do, just to have another day or another hour with the one you truly love and grew old with.

I loved looking at these chocolates and deciding which one to have first. Life is filled with choices from the most mundane to the most serious. But everywhere there are these little flashes of beauty that you have to catch like that hobbling husband giving the patient a drink then sitting a little shy distance away.

Day #3

 Day #3 (Friday) started yesterday and ended at 2 am this morning. I have too many photos so here’s a sneak preview and I will post more in the next few days.

A beautiful Eid care package. It included handmade chocolates, various bottled sauces, chocolate sables, chocolate chip cookies shaped like bricks, organic chocolate blocks and pineapple tarts.

The picnic basket Quizas bought me isn’t useful for picnics only, its great for lugging ingredients over to my mom’s while I cooked 8 dishes for a full Indian meal.

My first briyani, thanks to Sheerin for the cooking lesson. My friend Razlyn came by to break the fast with us and pick up a couple of things before she leaves for KL. Hope you’re home safe Raz!

The butter paneer was the favorite dish, among other dishes were meat samosas with a mint chutney, tandoori chicken, masala prawns, chapatis, raita, canna dhal, a potato and long bean curry and the briyani above. It was an 8 hour cooking marathon with 2 other hands (thanks mama and Kak Sal!). I managed to make chocolate chip cookies too, with my tweaked famos amos cookie recipe. I used 1.5 kg of flour and 1 kg of chocolate chips. It was crazy.

I spent today recuperating from the cooking marathon, with a facial from Wayan, greatly recommded. Then something less glamourous, vacuuming and cleaning windows. I sorted out all the Eid packages of money today (remember? I have over 40 cousins and multiple sets of grandparents, grandaunts and granduncles uncles).

  

The young and the elderly receive these gifts from the economically productive generation. I always enjoy this. I’ve spent so many years receiving during Eid, its nice to be on the other end. The cycle of life is such that when I grow old, it will be time to receive again.

I’ve also fulfilled my obligation of zakat or alms, its also great to know that its tax deductable and is automatically included in your annual income tax. I received these lovely empty money packets after making the payment.

day#2

The day started early. I was dropped at my mom’s place where all the baking action has been taking place. After the 15 hour sleep marathon that occurred yesterday, you could say that I was well rested. I started the day with rebaking the cornflake clusters, I can’t tell you how they turned out because I’ll only be able to taste it tonight. If they’re soft again, I’m not going to bake it a third time!! Soggy cornflake clusters for everyone!!!!

Update: it was crispy, *phew*

Ok, I’ve moved on.

I started looking around for a sugee cake recipe, because I love the gritty almondy, buttery taste of a good sugee cake. With a hint of rose essence, its so good with a cold glass of milk. Most of the recipes use an insane amount of butter and egg yolks, some used milk, some didn’t. Some used crstallized melon, I had no idea this was an ingredient in some cakes, I’ve never had a sugee cake with crystallized melon. I’m sure. Some had golden syrup, some had almond essence. Some had ground almond, some just chopped almond. Some rested the batter overnight, some not at all, some for a few hours. You get the idea, there were so many variations. After a dizzying choice and a couple of mind changes I settled on one.

I wish life was perfect, at least in happygrub world, here I would then tell you how fabulous my cake was, how it was soft yet chewy with the taste of good butter and ground almonds. In real life, I was woken up from my afternoon nap by my mom. “your cake is as hard as a rock. If you were experimenting, you should have halved the recipe and tried it out first, did you use my butter? What happened to aunty faridah’s recipe I thought you were going to use that, at least if you didn’t you should have halved the recipe. I told you I had bad experiences with sugee cakes, it just doesn’t work. I’ve given up on the idea. So you tried, but at least you should have halved the recipe..”

I had woken up enough to exclaim “But you haven’t even tried it! I don’t think its hard, as the cake cools it will exude the butter and will become soft and moist..”

While awaiting the time to break fast, I fretted around the cake, hoping it would transform. I cut it, flipped it around, covered it with a cloth, cut it into half, put it into an airtight box. Then after our evening meal, I cut it into pieces and ate enthusiastically exclaiming how nice it was, I cut my mom some. She looked skeptical. Well it WAS hard. Fine, I should have halved the recipe.

So here I am, scenting the bedroom with my latest candle. Its made of soy wax. I didn’t know it existed before this candle

Soy candles are made from soy wax, which is hydrogenated soybean oil. Soy wax was invented in 1992 by Michael Richards who was looking for a cheaper alternative to beeswax. As he entered the candle industry he realized there was a growing demand for natural wax candles.

I’m looking around. Oprah is beckoning me to call my friends. Then again if I listened to Oprah, I’ll probably need big eyed Dr Robin psychoanalyzing my relationship with my mom and going into my childhood. I would then burst into tears of realization and the audience will be on their feet and clapping. H will be watching with tears gathering at the corner of his eyes.

If you’re wondering about some of the titles on my shelf (atkins??) well, some of the books were gifts. The exotic tastes of paradise is a Sri Lankan cookbook, sounds wild doesn’t it?

Its too late to read.

Then H pops into the room asking how I spent my day. I told him, baking the cornflakes, making the cake, then cooking for the evening meal. He remarks how great it is that I’ve been so busy in the kitchen baking up treats. He beams.

Maybe I’ll tell him the details another day. Meanwhile I let myself bask under his beaming smile.

Another website I’ll love to share with you is this. Its a site which has great design ideas, vintage finds and little craft projects. We went to Tanglin Mall last weekend to sit in leather chairs that made you feel like you’re in a soft cozy embrace. We held neutral expressions when the price of one chair was half our budget to furnish our whole apartment. We went from shop to shop looking at huge grandfather clocks, bath accessories from grohe, extendable ultra modern glass tables asking questions, collecting catalogues in a calm measured manner. When in the car we were like “did you see the price of that and that??!!”. This shop which I have been visiting has second hand furniture at great prices. H and I are more budget conscious now as we are both hitting the books, and we all know how incredibly expensive that is now.

day#1

Something bad happened.

 

Half my cornflake clusters were soft and uncrispy.

I’m not sure how it happened. Maybe because I used the organic honey from kerala, i was out of honey. I usually just use the cheap supermarket ones, after all they are going to be baked and lose its enzymes I’m sure. Maybe cos I made too huge a batch. Maybe I left them out to cool to long. I need to rebake them again. How upsetting. Maybe cos I started baking at 3 pm when I woke up. (I am starting to pay off my sleep debt)

At least these were crispy. The remnants of rempeyek my Indonesian house help made. She puts shredded kafir lime leaves in this crispy peanut deep fried rice flour chips.

I was looking at this photo of baby Seth from Shafaa’s facebook.

It inspired me to take this shot.

I like how his arm wrinkles.

And now all spread out.

Courtesy of Shafaa, my big cousin. (as compared to Seth)

The honey butter mixture boiling in the pot. Everything seemed right at that time.

 

I really am not looking forward to the rebaking tomorrow, what a bother. I want to move on with my baking schedule!

some kittens, some new plates, orchids and a banana tree

I recently had a sun roughened, wrinkled little chinese man who was caught in the rain and unfortunately fell ill with a high fever and ended up under our care. He was a vegetable farmer, an organic vegtable farmer mind you, not just any farmer and had a plot of land in the western end of Singapore. After days of shrivering under the blanket, barely showing any interest in me prodding and poking him each day, he suddenly woke up after such a long period of lethargy like as fresh as a flower. The antibiotics had eventually kicked in. He then started moaning and groaning each day about each of his crops dying, one day it was the cai xim, the next day the kangkong then next day his cabbages. Everyday he begged us to let him go home and mend his plot. His daughters on the other hand, highly educated and well spoken urged us to dismiss the pleadings of this vegetable farmer and continue treating the disease adequately. He was recently discharged, all smiles with a heartily shaking my hand goodbye. I wished I was invited to his farm, I was too shy to ask for the location of his farm though.

Its nice to watch the the few trees on our plot bear fruit.

Its not surprising why Aunty Faridah loves her orchids. They are beautiful and really hardy.

The flowers hang off the plant like this. Nature has the best designs doesn’t it? This print could easily be found on a dress.

My recent bargain buy. Cheaper than plates from Ikea, these porcelain plates are second hand from a hotel and was $1-$2.50.

Remember our pretty cat? It multiplied itself by 3.

Now how that happened is another story by itself.

We now have 3 frisky kittens running about in the garden

some things planned

gorgeous photo by Hanne&Carlo of supperinstereo (Its nice to have friends I can steal photos from)

 

I make lots of promises, some I ashamedly don’t keep. Among them are making for my mother in law her favourite cream puffs. I plan to fulfill the promise soon! These eclairs had such amazing reviews I have to try the recipe. Especially so that I have just one more day to survive before my leave! I can then start ticking off the checklist of promises I’ve made, including cookies for grandma, tiramisu for my brother, honeyed cornflakes for Razlyn, granola for cousin Nada, clearing out my room for my move (ok mom) and yes H, I will cook you all those meals I’ve promised. H is acting like he’s been starving for a month since I’ve not cooked much. I’m so glad I’ve got this time off to give my family some homecooked love and also appreciate the last few nights of Ramadan.

Raz: ur cornflakes will hopefully materialize.. U owe me one for covering you while u were on sick leave today!! maybe you could help me present the journal for our weekly journal club in return

On another note, I found Shafaa’s photos of the biennale absolutely breathtaking (And thanks Shafaa for THE recipe) , I wanna go with Quizas but out leave sadly does not clash..

I’ve also been charmed lately by this whimsical photoblog

Another Sunday

Another week has passed,lots of it spent asleep, I’m so tired! Work has been good, largely because Boss now is a gem of a person. I’m glad my leave has finally been aproved this coming week. This was after all my previous applications have been rejected. To any working person, leave is precious and really is the fuel that restarts you engine after days, weeks and months of a fixed routine of service. It is especially precious when so many weekends are spent working resulting in only one or two days in a month where you can sleep in. I usually take a day or half a day off sometimes just to catch up on sleep or just to have a day off and away from the hospital. Things were bad due to a manpower shortage in the department and I have been working constantly since my return from India. I tried to catch some sleep this afternoon but my phone kept on ringing with calls from the hospital. I don’t have a separate work line because I don’t want to be bogged down with 2 phones so I usually have just one phone which is switched on all the time. For some reason, I have been getting lots of calls after working hours, sometimes when I’m eating, some at 2 am. I’ve been spending whatever time left catching up on sleep, trying so hard to study and settling my exam fees as well as some paperwork for the new house. H is equally busy and work has been keeping him late. All this translates to no cooking in the kitchen and long afternoon naps during the weekend. We’re lucky though that we are not short of break fast invites. I miss holding my Nikon and I really have to say that my Samsung just doesn’t cut it. Its good for mobility but its indoor shots are almost not worth showing. Its ok in natural light, just a little flat sometimes.

Here are some shots of our weekend.

Whole prawns battered with a sliced onion, green onion and green chilli mixture. Than deep fried. What’s there not to like when its deep fried?

An environmentally friendly way of dining. Communal dining on a banana leaf. Quoted from hungrygowhere.com (I love the way singaporeans adulterate the English language):

“If anyone were to ask me what is my favourite Malay dish, my answer is Nasi Ambeng without any hesitation. Traditionally, this authentic Javanese cuisine is served on a dulang (a big serving tray) only at kenduris. Kenduri is a form of thanksgiving to the Almighty for his abundance on happy occasions such as the fulfilment of the 40th day of a newborn, birthdays or weddings.

Banana leaves are used to line this dulang onto which, white or yellow steamed rice for 4-8 persons is placed in the centre. It is then surrounded by Bergedel, Sambal Goreng, Urap, Rendang, Pachri, Ayam Goreng, Sambal Sotong, etc. The end product is one enormous dish meant for sharing in groups of 4-6 (even sitting on the floor around it. Men sit separately from the women, eating with their hands, communal style. I have always find this experience immensely intimate, the joy of sharing this gastronomical delight apparent in all present, enforcing bonding at the highest level.”

My 84 year old Grandpa readily smiling for the camera. My grandpa is someone who wouldn’t hurt an ant. He’s very accomodating so when this grandkid was going shutter happy, he easily posed for a shot. He spent his whole life giving and pleasing all of us. I have so many early memories of him, including bicycles he bought second hand and fixing up for me, repairing all our toys and gadgets, bringing me for little rides on his scooter at the time when it seems so thrilling for a lil kid, waving from the bus stop when I left for home, waving from the window sill of his 6th floor flat when I started to drive off, and always having that smile ready even when sometimes his eyes tear when its time for me to leave!

Rice catered by a friend’s new venture, FYI Mini Gourmet and Catering, you can reach the company at 91013609. This is our first experience with the company and everyone agreed the food was good. It tastes like good home cooking.

Clockwise from the bottom right, urap - mixed vegetable salad dressed in spiced grated coconut dressing, bergedil - potato patty, rendang - dry beef curry, sambal goreng-deep fried beancurd, tempe, and long beans in a chilli gravy, sambal belachan- spicy shrimp paste sambal, ayam lemak- chicken in light green curry. The english translations are all based on what I think the dish is! Accuracy not guaranteed.

My dad hidden in a corner catching a few pages before its time to eat.

My grandma’s special apam cake. This is a yeasty bready sweet steamed cake eaten with grated coconut. Here you see a lone pandan leaf accidentally stuck in the middle.

I’ve been told that my photos of food during Ramadan have been torturing some poor soul, sorry Elia!!!

My ideal Sunday

I dream of make these one day. The method is interesting.

Epok Epok Gulung or “Rolled/Spiral curry puffs” with a potato filling. We had these last Tuesday.

This is the sky today. H thinks it looks like the desert. Must be the Arab in him speaking.

In a bed thats not mine. Camera case in the corner. H is working till tomorrow so I’m bunking in my mom’s bed. I’ve managed to shoo the inhabitants away so its all mine.

My view.

Is it me or do these plants look as tired as I do?

Recalling yesterday’s break fast gathering. My samsung’s indoor photos are a little flat. And with the low light I have to use the flash.

1st floor of durian puffs.

2nd floor occupants.

All 3 storeys now.

Part of the pajama gang spotted at the corner. I have a couple of cousins who are all siblings and their trademark is that they come in their pjs. Practically speaking it makes sense to shuttle sleeping kids from the car straight to bed. I wish I could have come in my pajamas. Then again I wish someone would carry me sleeping from the car to my bed. Well, we all can wish can’t we.

I think my mom went a little overboard with the fruit.

Aunty Dee’s custardy bread and butter pudding. Hiiiii Shafaaaaa! Are you going to post your photos too?? PLease?

Back to the present.. I never really thought of almonds had shells till mom brought these home from Syria. My dad needs to have nuts in every corner of the house, he’s like a squirrel with little hoards here and there. This applies to the office too. He needs his munchies. These were in their room. I like the tecture in this photo.

So what shall I do today? Maybe more second hand furniture shopping. I’ve had some fantastic finds lately including a set of porcelain white plates which cast S$2.50 each second hand from a 5 star hotel. I bought a set of 48 pieces though it wasn’t exactly complete. I’ll post some pictures soon. I picked up a Brabantia ironing board which my expat neighbour had cleared out of his home since they were moving back home. My mom now teasingly calls me a “karang guni” or rag and bone man. But honestly who can resist a $200 ironing board with a ten year guarantee?? For free!

Seth, my new love.

I’m really been doing much cooking recently. And when it somes to local flavors, who best to do it that the elders? My grandma’s malay cake called kuih kasui. This is a cake that is made of a mixture of rice flour, plain flour and gluitinous flour. Its mixed with a palm sugar mixture then steamed. Its eaten topped with freshly grated coconut usually lightly seasoned with a pinch of salt. The result is a silky smooth bouncy palm sugar cake with creamy coconut flakes. Its really good. I’ve seen her do it in her kitchen as seen here and here’s a recipe which is similar to the one my grandma uses only she doesn’t measure her ingredients so I really have no idea how much of each ingredient goes in.

Speaking of grandmas, this is her sewing machine, pulled out of the shed after a really long time. It was whirling while I was cooking a couple of days ago.

More shots of this classic machine

The lastest edition to the Musa (My grandfather) clan. Remember my granddad had 10 kids and 40+ grandkids, well here’s the newest, Seth! Welcome to the family! More photos of our weekly family breaking fast session soon.

I didn’t take much photos of the food during the gathering as I was distracted by all these expressions Seth was making. And he babbles so much, at 6 weeks!

I like having conversations.

All babies are fascinated by fans. And not the football crazy kind but the rotating ceiling kind.

Now which is the thunb..

Stinky durian pufffs..

Now a question, does Farhan love or does Farhan not love durian, anyone can guess??

More soon!

Today’s meal

H’s grandma’s specialty is mee siam. This is a thin rice vercimelli fried in a chilli paste, then eaten with a gravy thickened with salted soy beans. The broth usually has prawn and sometimes thin slices of beef. Its eaten with a hard boiled egg, deep fried tiny pieces of beancurd and a snipping of flat chives. Finish it off with a squeeze of lime and its a slurpy bowl of really yummy noodles. Since we do not have our own home yet, I share the kitchen with H’s grandma. Or rather she shares her kitchen with me.

With every kitchen there are rules. I slowly picked up these little rules and things have been smooth sailing so far, hopefully forever! Among the rules are that knives must always be hidden away, this is to in the event robbers enter the house and use you own knives as weapons to harm you. Sounds strange but my aunty had a break in a couple of years ago in her house in Johor and the family was held at knife point with their kitchen knives.. So that rule makes sense, stretch that imagination though! I have spent many a day and night hunting for that knife to cut a piece of fruit.. The next rule is be mindful when throwing things away, anything that can be reused can and will be reused. No throwing away of glass jars, plastic containers, or that bit of string on the box of that cake. This is a common trait I find among our elders, my maternal grandmother says I don’t understand it because I am a woman who earns and spends how I please. In her times, even to buy a rag you would have to ask for a few cents from the man of the house, and money was so hard to come by. The idea of thrift is a common thread in the next few rules of never running the tap too fast, diluting the dish detergent so not too much gets on the dirty dishes, and scraping every single bit of that cake batter from the bowl into the baking dish. After I rather messily scraped the chocolate brownie batter into its pan, she gently took the bowl from my hands and srcaped it superbly clean with reminding me in Malay “Don’t waste Farhan, this batter is very expensive, try to clean the bowl as much as possible”.

While I was eating the mee siam heartily, we were talking about a dessert my mom had made recently. Its a pudding made of thick coconut milk and rice flour and eaten swimming in a pool of pandan scented clear simple syrup. Its called “bubur sumsum” or literally translated as marrow porridge. I suppose its named so because the bits of white porridge is textured like bone marrow? Its hard to describe, maybe I will photograph it one day but you have to taste it to understand its texture. I remarked how my late great grandmother used to make it every Ramadan and how good it was. H’s grandma then said wistfully, you remember it, you remember it because so much love was put into the dish.

I finished the bowl of noodles and thought about how I would always remember it.