Part 1: It all started with a chocolate tart

This is Hana’s Birth Story.

 

I am starting to write this on the 30th of September at 1.19am. Considering it took me a whole day to write and post the last post and I am afraid of losing the memories of the birth, I’ve decided to start writing a little I can every day and post it in small parts.

Disclaimer: I am a medical doctor but obstetrics is not my speciality. The only obstetrics I know is what I’ve learned and observed in medical school. None of the information below should be used in place of a consult with a doctor. In addition, Please stop reading if you are squeamish about details of labor and birth as the decriptions may be graphic though still clean and family friendly like the rest of happygrub.

It started on Friday the 25th of September 2009.

 

12 noon:

I woke up earlier at 10 am and felt like I was having a little clear discharge. I had a scare in the earlier part of pregnancy when I had thought that I was leaking amniotic fluid but it was a false alarm. Still, I felt something wasn’t entirely normal and reported this to Yati who has been my reference point and great source of support thru pregnancy. I was not having any contractions and felt perfectly fine. I was also unsure about what the discharge was but we discussed it and then dismissed it. Meanwhile, I was planning with another girlfried, Enah the menu for our Eid gathering at Mel’s the same night. We confirmed the arrangements and she was planning to pick me up after work and picking Yati with her baby ‘Umar on the way to Mel’s.

Enah again expressed concern if I was ok, since I was 2 days away from my due date, she was concerned how if I would be too tired or would be going into labor. I laughed it off as usual, I was prepared to wait, I felt that my baby was going to be a little late and make us a tad bit anxious.

1 pm:

I had pulled out frozen almond shortbread dough, leftover from cookies I made a month ago,from the freezer and started on my chocolate tart.

4 pm:

I started having some greenish mucusy discharge. I promptly called Yati and reported this. Again I felt fine and was not having contractions at all. We concluded that I was losing my mucus plug, which is a sign of labor. But according to google and babycenter, this could happen anytime between just before labor to 2 weeks before. Still, we decided that we should change the evening plans and the girls would come to my house instead.

I was feeling excited and cheerful and continued to finish my chocolate tart. I read the Qur’an, in particular the Sura Maryam. I did a few prayers and listened to my hypnobirthing tape. I felt that my baby was coming this weekend. I prayed that natural labor would start and I would start having contractions.

7pm

The girls came and we had a fun time. We were excited and felt that I was going to go into labor in the next few hours. I felt that I may be leaking some amniotic fluid slowly and I spoke to a close friend whose wife is an obstetrician. I spoke to her briefly over the phone and she urged me to go to the hospital as soon as possible as she suspected that my water bag had ruptured. I explained that I was aiming for a natural birth and was against artificially kickstarting labor which I was afraid would happen if I checked into hospital early. She explained the risk of infection and said that if labor did not happen in the next 24 hours, I needed antibiotics. She explained clearly and even cited some evidence based medicine, hoping to appeal to my medical mind and senses that it was medically indicated to go to the hospital.

I discusssed this with the girls and at the same time, I felt that I wasn’t ready to go as yet. I gave myself a timeline, if labor did not start at noon the next day, I would go to the hospital.

8pm

I decided to call my mom to let her know to cancel her plans to drive to Malaysia with the family for some Eid visiting of relatives. I reassured her that I was fine. And I would let her know if anything happened. She the proceeded to call me every hour and I was starting to feel a little annoyed. She wanted me to go to the hospital early and “jangan main main” which translated from Malay literally means “don’t play play”. She meant don’t take matters in your own hands. I reassured her. I told her that baby was kicking well, which was how the baby was throughout the day and I her movements were something I was consciously aware of at all times. I felt my baby kicking and was sure that she was ok.

10 pm

The girls left. H came back from his evening class. I decided not to tell him about the days happenings as I did not want him to keep awake in anticipation of labor. I knew that if one of us needed to be sane and well rested, it would be him. I knew that laboring for the first time could be potentially long. I also did not want him breathing in my face the whole night being aware of every squeak I make and jumping out of bed with the slightest movement I make which is something he does occasionally when I have a lot of “false labor” or Braxton Hicks contractions at night. I secretly lined the bed with a small disposable bedsheet and wore a pad.

11 pm

H was getting ready for bed. I casually asked him to help me inflate the gymball that Yati had brought along with her. He excitedly did so and was reading the manual on the exercises that could be done with a gymball. He exclaimed that he has been wanting to get a gymball and started to demonstrate various push ups and stretches. I was impatient to try it as I knew I had to have some practice before labor. I tried to shoo him off the ball but he was puzzled. “Why would you want to exercise now? You’ll fall off the ball!”, I realized he had no idea I was planning to use it for labor, sit on in to rock the pelvis to help ease pain between the contractions. I explained and he anxiously watched me clumsily sit on the ball with my 9 month old baby in my heavy uterus.

12 midnight

We went to bed and I felt ok though there was no sign of contractions. The thought crossed my mind that I was in labor but did not realize it like some hypnobirthing mothers due to their relaxed attitude towards labor and their expectations of no pain. I was amused at this thought and brushed it off.

4 am

I woke up with my pad and bedsheet soaked thru. I went to the toilet and felt something amiss as the color of the fluid from colourless had turned light yellow. I suspected that the baby may have passed meconium (poo) and I decided then to go to the hospital and woke H up.

For some reason, I left my gymball and hypnobirthing and Qur’an recital CDs at home. I had a gut feeling that my labor may not start naturally.

5am

We went to East Coast Macdonalds and had breakfast. I knew that as soon as I step into the labor ward I may be fasted and this could be my last meal in the next 24 hours. The mood was light and my appetite was good. We ate, talked and laughed. Again I had no contractions.

6 am

We arrived in hospital and it was a deserted Saturday morning. There were no clear instructions where the labor ward was and apparently no one around to ask. H managed to catch a security guard and he pointed in the direction of the Emergency Department. There the staff rang up the labor ward with my details and asked me to sit in a wheelchair. I politely declined saying I could walk. He insisted and I sat down. I felt a little self conscious being pushed in a wheelchair. We went to the labor ward where I was attended to by the nurses, checked in and settled.

I lay in bed and H sat in a reclining chair next to me. We were told no food and drink while in labor except sips of water. I looked around and lay in bed. There was total silence. I felt like I didn’t belong. I wanted to be discharged. I was not in labor. What was I doing in a labor ward?

Meanwhile H kept on asking me not to look so alert and just try to sleep. He caught a few winks. He woke up and made a joke and I burst out laughing, thats when I felt a huge gush. I was upset and told him, “you made me pee in bed!” I did not realize that I had a huge gush of meconium stained amniotic fluid or liqor, referred in short as “MSL”

8.30am

Just when that happened, I was seen by the house officer who then alerted the medical officer of the on call team. She knew I was a medical officer and felt that perhaps it would be better if she had informed her senior to do the internal exam even though I had told her I was fine with her doing so. The medical officer on call came, did the examination and told me I was 3 cm dilated, had MSL and she would report to the professor who was looking after me. We talked and laughed, I asked her if I could wait in the normal ward while waiting for labor to start. She looked at me concerned but did not say no straight away. She carefully explained that she would report to prof and let me know what prof says. I expressed my want for a natural birth.

9.30am

Prof came, examined me and said that we need to kick start labor with an artificial hormone called Syntocin. I was starting to get upset and said I did not think I can handle the pain of an artificial labor. I had heard horror stories of Syntocin. I started feeling overwhelmed and confused with words like “speed up labor” “timeline” “meconium” “fetal distress” and could not decide if I wanted an epidural before or after the drip started. Prof left and saw me again when I requested to hold off the syntocin drip till I had some queries answered. I felt that she was getting a little exasperated with me.

10 am

The drip Syntocin started and I made the decision to try to kickstart labor with syntocin without the epidural or pain relief.

11 am

Nothing happened. I had no contractions 1 hour after the drip. The nurses came and slowly increased the dose half hourly.

12 noon.

The contractions started coming fast and furious. I went from having zero contractions to 1 in 1-2 mins in 45 minutes or less. I had a drip on and was lying on my back or side, with no hope of any mobility. I knew natural labour slowly builds up with a contraction every half hour or so right up to where I was and it could take up to 36 hours. I was at a stage where it all happened in 45 mins. I pressed the call bell frantically, asking for the epidural. I could not even let out a peep, I could hardly talk, it was overwhelming. I was just turned to my side gripping the bed railing trying to cope with the pain. I wanted the epidural and I wanted it fast. The nurse called the anaesthetist and gave me the Ethonox, or laughing gas. I inhaled deeply. I immedicately felt better. My vision started to blur and sound faded into the background. There was a ringing in my ears and I felt comfort immediately. I felt almost happy. The anaesthetist came, this was the one person who turned out to be my angel and the most important person in my labor. I did not know it then. I was woozy. She explained to me the risks of an epidural and I wanted me to sign the consent. In my head I was like “ok ok ok ya ya ya please just stop talking and let me sign the form”. I had explained a lumbar puncture or needle in the back which was required for an epidural to so many patients and I knew it in my head. Headache, pain, infection, bleeding, more serious complications include nerve damage bla3 etc3. I was getting impatient. After like 2 seconds, I don’t think my patience was really long I cut her short, grabbed the pen and signed it. She still continued talking. I was too woozy from the gas to argue.

1 pm

H sat me up in bed and the anaesthetist started to do the epidural. I was pulled away from the gas and was started to get more alert. I was chatty and disinhibited from the gas. I asked the asaesthetist if she’s gone thru labor. She answered 3 x. I explained to her about my want for a natural labor, how it all got thrown out of the window, how I was glad cos I love modern medicine, I was delirious and almost clapping. We were both laughing. I think H was just concentrating on not letting me fall and watching a needle go into my back and not have a fainting attack when he sees a needle like the last time I withdrew blood when he needed a blood test.

 

To be continued

I have coffee on my mind

Nespresso in particular.

Bad Bad H for suggesting we should get a nespresso machine. I’m supposed to be off caffeine!

New routines

I thought it would be quite fun to document my previous life, present life and then to see how my post baby life would be:

 

Previous life:

6am: Up and getting ready for work

7am: At work, clear paperwork, emails, eat packed breakfast

8am: Morning round, a very sweaty affair in a non airconditioned ward

9am-1pm: Run morning clinic

1pm-2pm: Lunch

2pm-5pm: Run afternoon clinic

5pm-5.30pm: Still running clinic or if its done, wait for H to pick me up, bank and pay bills in meantime

5.30-7.30pm: Home n cooking dinner, eat dinner

7.30pm-11.30pm: Time flies, rest, read, go out, couple time, visit parents/grandma etc depending on day of week and energy levels.

 

Current life:

6.45am:  H wakes me up, says goodbye, I do my morning prayer

6.45am-10.30am: sleep. Phone rings a couple of times. Well meaning people “checking on me”. I know I have to get up soon or H is sending someone to our flat to check on me.

10.30am: Report I’m awake to H. Phone stops ringing for a while.

10.30-12 noon: Sms the usual ppl, i’m still here etc etc, get the usual replies etc etc. I’m trying to be more awake in the meantime. Prepare something to eat,sometimes leftovers, usually some fruit and something neutral for my stomach. eat in front of tv. Martha, yawn yawn. Cooking shows, sometimes. Pull something out of freezer for dinner.

12noon-1pm: Shower time and try to put on something less pj like.

1pm-3pm: Chores/housework/do stuff on computer/read/pray/relaxation exercises/sometimes trying not to nap or I won’t be able to sleep at night

Photo of old watering can from our visit to Bollywood veggies early this year. I need to fill by Ikea watering can 3 times to water all the plants in the house. Usually this is the most exercise I get in the day.

3-5.30 pm: Start dinner and tidy the mess I usually make after being home the whole day.

Photo from previous roast chicken lunch mess

5.30-11.30pm: Same routine as previous but usually with loads more energy than if I were working. And with more elaborate meals, lucky H. Pack something for his lunch tomorrow too.

Its wierd but time seems to be zipping by. Of course there are breaks in the routine, usually with people popping by and me going out sometimes running errands, sometimes spending time with people I don’t usually have the time to see. Its fun. So 3 days till due date. So far not feeling that anxious(then again I have very poor insight so perhaps its easier to ask ppl I’ve been whining to daily ). Perhaps I would in another 10 days.

Just to let you know, I’m still here

Photo from here

 

Whenever H and I troop down to Sunlik, usually for my stash of Valrhona (by the way what was I thinking, buying a 1 kg block of Guanaja 5 days before my due date, I’m not sure how my pregnant mind thinks), we pop by Raffles Hotel which is just across the road and walk thru their gardens and shopping arcade. Its such a relaxing place in the heart of the city. I love the traveller’s palms and ornate garden furniture. We always drop by the Raffles Creamery for my ice cream and his cappuccino which is as reasonably priced as any cafe in town. We’re usually the only ones there and we enjoy the solitude and quiet while feeling a little worried that the creamery might close due to it being underpatronized. Other items I picked up at Sunlik was feuilletine flakes for a simple chocolate tart as I still have some sweet almond pastry in my freezer which I feel I have to use up or its fate would be to remain in the depths of my freezer forever. I’m thinking of a simplified tart based on this recipe.

 

I picked up some Cajun spice mix, it looked quite pretty. Probably make some spicy wings. Bought some Valrhona cocoa nibs, no ideas for that one yet. As you can see I’m on an unhealthy junkie roll.

Snaps of last Eid

My mother, looking 54 years? The beauty of having Malay genes. Having inherited my father’s looks, I’m not sure I’ll be as lucky.

These were from King Arthur’s Flour Baker’s Companion.

Beautiful burger buns, makes 8 large buns of 16 small ones

1 cup water

2 tbsp butter

1 large egg

3 3/4 cups bread flour

1/4 cup sugar

1 tsp salt

1 tablespoon instant yeast ( this was one sachet of yeast)

Knead all ingredients in a bowl or with your electric mixer. Cover and let rise in a warm place for an hour. I shaped mine into 16 small balls and arranged then in a square baking tin. Let rise again for 40 mins-an hour. I brushed them with a beaten egg and sprinkled various toppings: cracked black pepper, mixed dried Italian herbs, paprika and dried rosemary.Bake at 180C for 20-25 mins.

The buns were a little unevenly sized..

They were easily pulled apart and split. The buns were soft and good eaten on the same day. However I still agree that doughs with a small amount of yeast and long rising times still produce bread with the best flavor. I made pizza dough from the Bread Baker’s Apprentice the other day and the book recommends letting the dough rest overnight or up to 3 days in the fridge. The dough itself is slow rising and the flavour of the end product really good. This quick burger bun dough rose very very quickly, ballooning in size in a short period of time. However the bread had a mild yeasty taste to it, I think from the large amount of yeast and short rising period.It was just something I noticed though hardly discernible especially with the burger patty and fillings.

 

Now a little home project..

I finally gained courage after babysitting my 3 house plants for the past 6 months and filled my planter box with a row of heliconia!

It feels very tropical sitting out in the balcony. Which I must confess I don’t do often because of the sound of traffic! The only time we do is to enjoy a hot drink after 11 pm when traffic almost disappears and we start hearing crickets from the field.

I’m supposed to water the heliconia once a day. I bought the fertilizer the nursery person recommended and with the sun in the balcony, the plants are supposed to thrive. Since they’ve arrived, its been rather cloudy. I hope they get enough sun to survive. Thanks mama for helping me pick out the plants while I sat withered by the heat in the shade of the greenhouse. It was so hot and humid at the nursery. But there was something very heady sitting in tropical heat surrounded by the most amazing orchids. I’m very afraid of orchids but someday who knows..

Just a sneak

I have a prenatal massage session scheduled before an antenatal appointment so this has got to be short. I will come back with more pictures and the recipe soon!

 

Just a little note on hypnobirthing. My mom is skeptical of the whole idea and I can say almost all my colleagues when I even mention I want to try for a natural drug free birth. I think doctors more so than any other women in any other profession have very negative birthing perceptions based on what they have experience in medical school and the course of their work. A strong reason why I stopped work 2 weeks before my due date was that I was getting a little tired of “scary birthing stories” which everyone was so keen to indulge me with. The other reason was of course I felt my function was declining and I did not want to make a mistake before I decided that enough was enough. I didn’t want to be that old surgeon who bungles up but refuses to retire!

 

My first experience in hypnosis was in medical school with a psychiatrist who practiced hypnosis as a form of treatment to help his patients. I was “hypnotized” with a suggestion that I will stop hiccupping. At a point of time, I had bothersome bouts of hiccups, for no reason which lasted for some time. During the experience, I did not feel asleep, I was fully aware. The only feeling I had was that of time distortion, I felt the session was short though it lasted for more than 2o minutes! And yes, my hiccups did stop. I don’t believe in hypnosis as going into another zone or state where you are completely unaware of your surroundings but rather it is a way to fill your mind with positive images of birth and believing that you can give birth to your baby. Without interventions, and without drugs.

More soon, gotta run

My biggest investment.

I’ve officially started maternity leave at the start of the 39th week and I’m not at a point where I can’t wait to deliver..yet. I’m really looking forward to these 2, 3 god knows ?4 weeks of relaxation,trying new recipes,  food, spoiling myself rotten, spending a lot of money, going on holiday.. ok the last 2 were my imagination going. I’ve had my lunchtime escapade in a spa in town with the girls (u know what I’m talking about if you’re reading this Yati, Enah.. mel..) and I’ve stocked up on my food magazines, toiletries, ok ok more like erm, make up from my fav brand. Did you know that YSL is currently closing ALL its counters in Singapore? On the bright side, I’ve stopped my online shopping, for now.

 

I bough the Medela pump in style Metro Bag (and pump) from first few years, the best deal in town as far as I know unless you buy a pump off ebay. I’m not sure how reliable that will be though. Since its quite  a bit of money I opted for the safer option. This was my choice, of course with guidance from the guru herself. 

I’ve been also keeping abreast, no pun intended, with the must reads:

 Seen here with another must have, Palmer’s tummy butter!

And lots of hypnobirthing exercises. I love the CDs, the pregnancy insomnia has disappeared! Or it could be because I don’t have to work.. I feel so relieved cos the last few weeks were getting cpretty exhausting.

 

I’ve been contemplating on getting some one size pocket diapers from whoppeekiddies and have been religiously reading this blog. The photos of diaper fashion are too cute! But I think I’ll hold off anymore diaper purchases for now and stick to my prefolds and diaper covers as planned. I will only start pocket diapers when I need to start going out or when I need to hand over to a caregiver and need convenience. Read this previous post if you are a little lost with the cloth diapering terms.

I bought a couple of babylegs and leg warmers from this site, good service and good prices too. And they’ve just started selling cloth diapers! The prices are comparable with whoppeekiddies and I think these are the lowest prices I can find on the web.

We’re having steak for dinner tonight, an option when I’m too pooped to make anything else. I’m pulling frozen delifrance loaves from the freezer for some garlic bread and boiling some new potatoes, broccoli, carrots and cauliflower for a side simply tossed in the same garlic butter as the bread has on.

I feel a griddle pan for those grill marks is a great thing to have in the kitchen.

I made easy burger buns over the weekend for homemade burgers with my latest cheese obsession the Danish Havarti.  Its a really excellent melting cheese and its really fatty ? as in lots of oil comes out of it when you put it under the grill. Its also deliciously savoury and not stinky at the same time. We had beef burgers with cheese, wholegrain mustard, caramelized onions and chopped cornichons. The buns were easy and good! Its so hard to find nice burger buns off the shelf. The supermarket buns are always a little smushed and sad. For an alternative, if you live in Tampines, my neighbourhood bakery of choice is Beijing Confectionary at Tampines St 92, block 924. Its along the row of shops facing the primary school. They’ve got beautiful large burger buns and really nice french loaves too.

I’ll blog about the buns in the next post..

Wraps 101

Since H is not a fan of rice, nor a huge fan of pasta, there isn’t many options left for carbohydrates. Its great that there’s such a great and wide range of breads available to buy and make. There are flat breads, yeasted like naan or soft wraps and there are unleavened flatbreads like wraps, roti and tortillas. We buy our fair share of commercial breads, eventhough I don’t really like it as sometimes I think storebought bread tastes like plastic. Try buying a packet of wraps from the supermarket, take a whiff and you’ll know what I mean. It smells like the plastic it came in! Flatbreads are great when you’re short of time as a lot of times they do not need long resting or rising (if they are yeast based) times.

These were filled with sliced pan griddled chicken breasts, diced tomato, capsicum,  shredded cheddar, lettuce and a homemade tahini yogurt sauce. Just mix 1 part tahini to 5 parts yogurt, season well with salt and pepper and stir till smooth.

Picnic wraps

Makes 8

Recipe adapted from King Arthur’s Flour Baker’s Companion

2 cups plain flour

1/2 cup water

3 tablespoons olive oil

3/4 teaspoon salt

In a large bowl, knead together all ingredients till smooth. I used my Kitchen Aid with a dough hook and kneaded at speed #3 for ten mins. The dough should be smooth and satiny. Divide into 8 small equal pieces and roll into balls. Leave to rest at least 30 mins. This period of rest makes the dough easier to roll out. Preheat a flat ungreased frying pan at low heat. Working with one piece at a time, dust work surface generously with flour and roll each piece thinly to a 6-7 inch circle. Fry for about 45 secs on one side and flip over. Small brown spots should appear on the cooked side. Place in a bowl and cover with a towel, this creates steam and softens the wrap. Repeat for remaining pieces.

Here are some tips to make soft wraps:

-knead them really well, at least 10-15 mins by hand or let the machine run

-roll them as thin as you possibly can. If they’re springing back a lot and refusing to be rolled thin, it needs to be rested a while, try again after the rest

-rolling them one at a time while there’s on the pan decreased the risk of them drying out while waiting to be put on the pan

-try to adjust the temperature of the pan such that nice light brown spots appear on the cooked side and bubbles appear on the uncooked side. If the bread puffs up, its even better as this creates 2 soft layers in your bread

-cover in a towel as soon as they’re off the pan, this steam really helps to soften them

 

Baby ‘Umar in action

 A good baby guest always plays quietly with his toys while mummy chats.

 Sometimes the toys tend to get away.

 Sometimes they’re taken away just to see what reaction it gets.

Babylegs are definitely good for cold hard and sometimes not so clean floors. Sorry ‘Umar!

Sometimes its fun to listen in to the conversation. Sometimes its nice to join in.

Guess where the toy’s going next?

For some real food, some soft homemade wraps in the next post..